Haunted
by Gold Lion Queen
Summary: She is haunted by him, the way he smells, the way he feels, the way he kisses her but he doesn't love her. She feels her self slipping by the mere thought of him but even though he comes to her at night, her heartbreak never ends. Toko with slight Tokka.


AN/ Of course I own it, that's why Toko is canon. *high sarcasm alert* Based heavily on Almost Lovers by A Fine Frenzy.

She remembered when he came to her, heartbroken, seeking her comfort. Hers, and that used to make her feel special. But not anymore. Now she feels used.

He came to her in the middle of the night and she gave him everything, his fingers slid down her back and he would sing her to sleep with the sweetest voice. What a brilliant act.

He came to her whenever they had a fight and she would be there for him, he'd leave with one last kiss. He always said it was goodbye but he turned up the next forth night, the next week, the next day.

He would cry on her shoulder while leaving kisses on her neck. He would say HER name while they kissed and she swears she felt tears that weren't his. Sometimes she wonders if he's cruel to her on purpose but then quickly puts it out of her head. She loves him too much to ever think wrong of him.

She remembered the day they announced their engagement. She gripped her wine glass a bit too hard and she was sure he noticed her smile was a bit forced. How could he do this to her? She thought they were friends.

The night after, he came to her again but she was furious. She slammed the door in his face and screamed curses at the wood. He broke it down and entered looking as dangerous as his father. But when he saw her, he faltered. He didn't realise how much he broke her. He tried to kiss her but she wasn't going to be so easily persuaded that time. They had another fight and he left, this time unsatisfied.

No one would know the sand beneath her feet, reminded her of the day she first made him blush. No one would know what the colour red meant to her because of him, did it matter that she could not see it? He was red and she loved him. No one would know that'd she constantly has a fire burning in the fireplace so her house smells like him. No one would know she only sleeps in his shirt, the one he forgot to take back. No one would know how she would half-wake in the middle of the night and whisper her love to her pillow, thinking it was him. He plagued her mind, invaded her senses and made her go crazy with grief.

Even though there was a gap between them, they could never let the others know. The Fire Lord would be shamed and The World's Greatest Earthbender pitied. And she hates pity with all her heart. So she put on a red dress, and went to his engagement party and everyone said she looked beautiful. Except for him. Not once did he glance her way.

Then reality settled in, she was just a little, blind girl. He was one of the most powerful men in the universe. And Mai, she must've been beautiful enough for what she lacks in personality. She began to hate him but the pain only grew worse. Sokka noticed, he was the only one but he was her best friend.

He asked her what was wrong and she spilled her whole heart to him and begged him for just one night, just to make the pain go away. He agreed only because he couldn't bear to see her in such pain.

And when The Fire Lord returned again, it was he who had his heart broken. He felt rage beyond belief and even a little sickened when he saw the water tribe warrior kiss what was his. He shook his head and straightened his back, it was none of his business who she saw, he should've expected it considering her childhood crush on him. Yet, he couldn't keep in a pang of jealousy as she moaned under his touch.

The next day he saw Sokka, and made light conversation though he could feel hostility from his friend. He told him that Suki had broken up with her latest boyfriend and he should try for her again. He simply laughed and said they were old news. He tried once more, by claiming that he shouldn't go for younger girls and that made Sokka snap. He knew from the instant that Zuko invited him to the palace it was about Toph. He said the he didn't deserve her after what he did to her, and called him a few creative names.

Zuko knew he was right. So, with an aching heart he arranged his marriage a month earlier. She was in the front row, wearing dark green, not red. And though those pale green irises couldn't see, he felt as if they were staring into his soul. When he kissed Mai, he pretended that they were her lips which he was so familiar with, her porcelain skin that he used to smother with kisses in the moonlight, that it was her inky hair that he wrapped his hand in as he did in so many nights but when he looked into her eyes it was just a lifeless brown instead of a minty green. He faked a smile to hide his disappointment and scolded himself for getting carried away.

He heard a few months later, that she had a daughter named Lin and he knew she was his. He watched from afar as Sokka became the father for this little girl, that he knew he should've been.

He let his happiness get away, and that haunted him for the rest of his life.


End file.
